caseylee82

Tonight Colliding Lights played at RHCCC at a coffee house thing. Jesse spoke about how people hate the church and love Jesus because the church has failed to go out and show the love of Jesus to the "outsiders".

During that time, the Spirit of God spoke deep within my heart about a few things.

One thing is that fact that I haven't been loving and honouring my parents as I should. I feel so tired these days and I'm not able to truly treat them with respect and give them the best. Plus, my love tank has run low. I need to believe and receive the love of Christ afresh that I may be compelled by His love to love others. I need Your energy, mind, heart and love to dig deep into another's mind and soul to listen, care and love them. Do this in and through me Abba.

Second thing is that I haven't been able to get my prep for "East Asia" thing rolling. By grace of God I've actually had some personal sharings with people. (Just an aside, I actually have two really good conversations with two different uncles from church. They shared about themselves, their view on God, their view on missions, their view on work and how it relates to God and their efforts of being a witness for Jesus at work and their strong convictions. Those talks were very refreshing. I felt that God ministered to both of us in those conversations. Very encouraging. Thank You Jesus). However, I need to step my game up and share with more people. I need to follow up on the people that I have shared. Also, the individual letters have not been fully completed and handed out yet. I feel like something is dragging me. It is like pulling a large stone. Holy Spirit lead the way, provide me with extra passion and perseverance. To You be the glory.

Lastly, I have not pursued Jesus deeply, or rather, I have not surrendered each morning and day to all of Him. Laziness, lack of sleep, work or just plain illusionary thinking has caused me to speed through the morning without slowing down to fix my attention and affection on my Creator and passionate Lover. Even after coming home from work or on my off days, my heart would do other things that seemed more "fun" or maybe just didn't require me to expend my energy in thinking, focusing and attending. But oh what foolishness! Isn't that what sin is? Isn't sin foolishness? Isn't it believing that God Himself and His ways is not good enough? Isn't it like choking ourselves, or chewing on glass pieces, or licking dirty toilet floors in China? It is so true that it is better to be one days in Your courts, Your presence than a thousand elsewhere. In reality, my heart and my flesh cry out for the Living God. My soul deep within yearns for the Bread of Life, Grace and Truth, Comforter, Counsellor, the Bridegroom. Holy Spirit, set my mind and heart to have discipline and desire, perseverance and passion to fix my scopes, my attention, my affection and my allegiance onto You each morning and ever so often.

I have not blogged since forever.  This is the first blog of mine since returning from HK to Toronto.  HK was an amazing learning time God gave me.  It will take another blog to record the things I have learned and experienced.

Coming back from HK, the adjustment wasn't that hard.  The weather was much colder and streets were not as vibrant with people walking around.  It was funny however when I bought food at the food court.  The food cost $3.99 and when the cashier person told me to pay $4.27, I asked her why was she charging me that when it was only $3.99.  I totally forgot that I had to pay tax.  HK is good in that buying food doesn't require tax or tip.

Upon arriving from HK, I had the privilege of helping out at TC and the retreat for our youth group.  It was great stuff which I will share later.  But in general I became quite lazy, passive and apathetic.  The immense time I had was spent on watching movies and surfing the net.  It wasn't that I didn't spend time with friends and doing other stuff.  But in general I felt like I was getting lazy and not being a good manager of the time that God has given me.  My relationship with God also suffered.  Just like all relationships, time is required for it to grow.  I spent little time, quantity and quality, in being still to focus my mind and heart on my Creator, Leader, Friend and Lover.  The consequence of that was that I became more lazy and struggled with sin, lust being my achilles heel.
On a side note, it seems that Biblically, women have contributed to men's great joy and also their greatest downfall.  In the beginning of Genesis, after God called everything He made good, He said that it was not good for men to be alone and that He would make Adam a suitable helper/partner.  This was before the fall or curse of mankind brought in by sin, and God called men being alone not God.  It truly reflects the nature of God.  We are made in His image and we need to be in connection with other people just like He is with Himself in the person of the Son, the Father and the Holy Spirit.  Throughout the Bible and history, women have  brought much joy and satisfaction to men.  We can see that in the Song of Solomon where we see too lovers passionate in love with each other and the feelings they felt.
However, women have also contributed to men's downfall.  King David was led with a noose to the slaughter by the enticement of naked Bathsheba.  He ended up having sex with a women who already had a husband, then he plotted to have the husband killed, then He lived in the unconfessed guilt, heaviness and shame of his sin for who knows how long (until the prophet Nathan confronts him).  Solomon along with many others throughout the Bible, had wives who worshipped foreign gods (our equivalent of marrying someone who doesn't allow Jesus to be the centre of their life).  They ended up worshipping someone or something other than the true Creator.   Samson let his guard down with Delilah and it led to break his covenant with God thereby loosing his power.

Sometimes I think, how can I have the power and ability to serve others and impact them for Jesus without a constant intimate deep relying relationship in God.  I think the truth is that we are never sinless or blameless before God.  Even on our best days when we do not feel like we have sinned, we really have sinned as even a little attitude of self-reliance is a sin.  Sometimes we think that if we read the Bible, pray, have a thankful attitude, love people that day, we are having a good day before God.  However, whether in so called bad or good days, we need the blood of Jesus to cover our sins.  We need to constantly live in, and draw from, His grace.  That is the good news, that though we act so utterly against God's ways everyday even without knowing it, we are forgiven, accepted, loved and cherished because in the sight of the Father, we get the credit of all the righteousness, purity and holiness of Jesus and Jesus bears the punishment and just wrath of our sins before our perfect God.

Nevertheless, God has graciously provided me with a job recently.  God has brought me to a new season as the old season with its worrying about finding a job and struggling with being lazy with my free time has faded away.  I work as a Service Specialist at Direct Buy where I help members find product info and pricing, I also help them to place orders for their products.  God has blessed me with great colleagues as they are generally quite patient, kind and caring.  Through having this job, I am understanding how much time and energy full time work takes.  I feel like my time is quite constrained and my energy is zapped after work.  I work Sat 9am-5pm so I miss out on much stuff during Saturdays.  Plus, being raised by my parents, I didn't understand the implications of making a living by working.  But I now realize that it is not easy, that it takes much hard work and that God is the source of all I need.

I am hope and pray that the Holy Spirit will bring me to a new season.  A season of winter to spring.  A season where the coldness of my heart, mind and soul will be melted by the warm intimacy of my Abba.  A season where the enslavement of sin will be abolished by constantly applying His truth and grace.  A season where desire and discipline in Jesus will be the norm.  A season where my eyes of faith are set on Him in the midst of the stormy trials.  A season where rest and refreshment is found constantly from our Hiding Place and Living Water.  A season where my love for Jesus and for people he has blessed me to be connected with will grow more unselfish and deeper.  A season where I can connect more intimately with other people so that there may be mutual encouragement, building up and strengthening in Jesus.  In Christ, everyday and every moment can be a new season, for His love is unfailing and His mercies are new each morning!

"I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing.  The trees of the field will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land. They will know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them...Then they will know that I, the LORD their God, am with them and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, declares the Sovereign LORD. You my sheep, the sheep of my pasture, are people, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign LORD."
Ezekiel 34:26-27, 30-31

This is educational and entertaining at the same time www.coughsafe.com/media.html.   They present a serious issue in a over serious way thereby making it quite comedic.  I hope you ROFL but make sure to use your sleeves whe you drool...muhaha...

Feeling lonely?...

http://www.discoverthebook.org/message_detail.asp?fileid=1094

This movie is quite good.  It raises social awareness of the injustice that occurs because some people want to make money on diamonds at the cost of hurting others.  It's also good to watch with your soon to be wife because you can tell her that diamonds are evil and buy her glass ones instead...

Besides the obvious injustice, something really hit me after the movie.  *Spoiler warning*

The movie opens with the main character (Soloman) walking, talking and playing with his son (Dia).  He is captured by rebels and is separated from his son.  Later, the son is captured along with other children by the rebels and trained to be in the resistent army.  The rebels tell the children that their parents are dead, that their parents are a shame and no good.  They are told that they can win respect with the machine gun they now possess.  They are told that they can be of value and be better than their no good parents.  Each of them is given a new name.  Dia falls for the lies of the rebels and joins them in killing people and destroying villages.  Meanwhile, Soloman is searching for his lost son.  His heart is always thinking about his son.  All he can think of is finding his son back again so that he can protect him and be his father.  Eventually Soloman finds his son, but his son is so brainwashed by then that he ignores him.  He pushes him to the floor and calls him a traitor.  The rebels capture Soloman.  Near the end of the movie, there is a scene where Soloman, his son and another guy was alone in the jungle.  The son pointed the gun at Soloman.  Soloman with tears in his eyes asked his son what he was doing.  He reminisced back to their days together.  Soloman told his son "you are Dia, my son, a good student, a bright kid who is going to be a doctor someday, you mother and I love you, I will always love you, will you be my son and let me be your father?"

In many ways, I see His Story of redemption.  The enemy lies to Adam and Eve and to us today that our Father is not good enough.  He even lies to us that we can be better than our Father.  Meanwhile the Father is searching for us, He sweeps around the house for that lost coin, He leaves the ninety-nine to find us, He is waiting for us to believe that He is good, that He is better, that He is the best and return to Him.  Even after we run back to Him we stray at times and when that happens He reminds us of the experiences we had together with Him.  Everyday our Father is reminds us of our identity in Him.  We are his sons and daughters.   We are His workmanship, His creation.  He asks if we will let Him be our Father because we will always be His son.  He looks us in the eye, in the deepest part of the soul and He tells us that He loves us.  O that we "may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Eph. 3:18-19)

The the son drops the gun and steps toward the father with tears in his eyes.  The father kisses and embraces the son.  Who is the prodigal (wastefully or recklessly extravagant, lavishingly abundant)?  I think the Father is...How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! (1 Jn 3:1)

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html

Haha, good ol Drew stirring up mutton!  Watch his first and last interview on 100 Huntley street  www.drewmarshall.ca/huntley.html

Some quotes to think on...

"I think the success of a church is shown by the amount of ugly people in it" (meaning the more ugly hearts the better)

"The one thing I can say that Jesus has done for me is that He hasn't quit on me"

I listen to this dude's radio show regularly.  He has some interesting guests on the show.  I like him and I don't like him at the same time.  He loves the things that I am passionate about: vulnerability, brokenness, warmth and the poor and needy.  Plus, he is one funny guy haha, I know from personal experience as he went on the Compassion Advocate trip to Nicaragua that I was a part of two summers ago.  However, I personally think there are hints of bitterness against people of the church in him.  Much of it is justified.  However, I think in the act of his harshness, he has forgotten that, one, the church is God's redeemed, Christ body, saints (yes that's what Apostle Paul calls the church despite of their shortcomings, this is because our righteousness has NOTHING to do with how we behave but rather what Jesus did), two, that the church itself is just as broken, needy, sinful as he is.  But I think it is true that we should be more hard on the body than those outside the body.  Paul tells us to judge and discipline the church but never people outside of it.  Sometimes, I think he throws the baby with the bath water so to speak.  Much of his critique is warranted, but his answer to one extreme is another extreme.  Some things may not be bad in themselves he calls bad.  So in the act of his over-reaction, he has become like one the people he is accusing, arrogant, judgemental, better-than-thou.  Although he would not hesitate to admit that.  I think sometimes the way (means) his intentions are presented is fleshly rather than of the Spirit of Jesus.  Generally, I agree and appreciate all that Drew does on his show.   I love the brokenness, authenticity, transparency and vulnerability.  This should be promoted and encouraged more in the church.  I can feel and identify the pain and frustration of my brother and I would be the first to admit of my self-centeredness and weakness.  May Jesus continue to bring healing in my brother and cause him to love the people of the church because of their shortcomings.

Finally have a chance to journal after intense month of December with 4 events!

Various things have pieced together my new year's resolution can be summarized by one word: commitment.

I think I struggle with being disciplined and committed.

Recently I read a chapter titled "The Discipline of Commitment" from the book The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges.  There are so many convicting quotes in there and it reminded me of the importance of commitment and how it can be achieved in the grace of Jesus. 

I've been like a solider that takes breaks in the middle of the war.  I haven't been alert and self-controlled even though the enemy is roaming around with an M-16 waiting to destroy me when I let my guard down (1 Pet. 5:8).  I haven't been pleasing my command officer but rather been pleasing myself, getting involved with civilian affairs while bullets are whizzing by and grenades are tossed my way (2 Tim. 2:4). 

 "When we sin we are more vexed at the lowering of our self-esteem than we are grieved at God's dishonor.  We are surprised and irritated at our own lack of self-control in subjecting ourselves to unworthy habits...The first cause of this is self-love, which is unable to stand the disappointment of not seeing ourselves in time of trial come out beautiful, erect, and admirable." Federick W. Faber

Today, I am making a renewed resolution to make it my goal and my aim to please God each day (2 Cor. 5:9).  To live for Him and not for myself because I was bought by the very blood of the One who created me and loves me.

"Frequently renew settled and holy resolutions.  A solider unresolved to fight may easily be defeated...The weakness of our graces, the strength of our temptations, and the diligence of our spiritual enemies, require strong resolutions." Stephen Charnock

Life is short.  God has blessed me thus far with health and energy.  I must resolve to use every moment for His glory and kingdom of earth.

"Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die." Jonathan Edwards

So yes, by the grace of God and the exercise of my choice, I want to commit myself wholly to Jesus Christ each moment. 

"And if you will here stop, and aks yourself, why you are not as [holy] as the primitive Christians were, your own heart will tell you, that it is neither through ignorance, nor inability, but purely because you never thoroughly intended it...This doctrine does not suppose, that we have no need of divine grace, or that it is in our own power to make ourselves perfect.  It only supposes, that throught the [lack] of a sincere intention of pleasing God in all our actions, we fall into such irregularities of life, as by the ordinary means of grace, we should have power to avoid." William Law

"It is the intention to please God in all our actions that is the key to commitment to a life of holiness.  If we do not make such a commitment to obedience without exception, we will constantly find ourselves making exceptions.  We will have a 'just one more time' syndrome in our lives.  But the truth is, the 'one more tim' manner of thinking undermines our commitment.  Every time we give in to a temptation, even though it may seem small and insignificant to us, we make it easier to give in the next time." Jerry Bridges

"Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness" (Rom. 6:19).  Thus I need to I need to make a commitment to put on Christ character.  "Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Col 3:12)

Specifically I want to commit myself to certain things, all which can be derived from this passage...

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.  For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. 2 Peter 1:3-9

I commit myself daily to knowing God.  He has given me everything I need for life and godiness.  This is accessed by my knowledge of Him.  Knowledge from my intellect, emotion and experience.  How this cultivated is through His precious and very great promises, which can be found only in His Word.  Thus, I resolved to read, chew on, digest and assimilate the Word of God.  But I don't want to be like the Pharisees and search scriptures thinking that in them there is life.  I want to be able to come closer to the Bread of Life through the scriptures and convesing with Him about it through prayer so that I may know Him more intimately.  Only by this can I be set apart and be represent Jesus to all.

I commit myself daily to preaching the gospel to myself.  I want to remind myself of all that Jesus did on the cross so that my conscience is clear and I can boldly approach the throne of grace.  Those who lack the qualities of 2 Peter 1, of faith, virtue, knowledge, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, brotherly affection and love are nearsighted and blind, they have forgotten that they have been cleansed from their former sins.  How true that not really believing and accepting that God has forgiven me will cause me to be ineffective and unfruitful in my knowledge of my Lord Jesus Christ.

I commit myself daily to being thankful and grateful.  I want to thank God for at least 5 things each day.  I want to do the will of God by giving thanks in all circumstances (1 Thes. 5:18).  There is always something to be thankful for.  I think that when I'm thankful and grateful I begin living by faith and not by sight believing the goodness and truth of God.  In addition, it is much harder to sin when I'm overflowing with thanksfulness and delight in God.

Will I fail to achieve the above and obey His ways?  Most certainly!  However, in a battle, some soliders will always be hit, but every one of them makes it their aim not to be hit.  To have a lesser aim would be foolish.  It is not different for me in the very real spiritual battle. 

In the light of the unfailing love of the Father, the power of the Holy Spirit and the very life of Christ in me, I want to train and discipline like an athelete and fight and be alert like a solider to do the above.  His grace is enough!

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
1 Cor. 9:24-27

I think God is shedding some light on my possible role in China.  I have a heart for the people of China. 

Came across the website of an organization called The Traveling Team, and read an article www.thetravelingteam.org/2000/world/12.shtml (Louie supports these guys!) which gave me a better idea of my role in world missions.

There are 5 ways to be involved with God's global plan of reaching everyone on earth:
Going
Praying
Sending
Welcoming
Mobilizing

Going is out stereotype missionaries who physically go to a country and city to bring Jesus' message and kingdom.  "Ultimately, the goer is willing to completely immerse themselves in an unfamiliar culture with the intention of furthering the gospel in that culture. They are innovative, low maintenance, steadfast, and persevere with little fellowship."  I think I would be willing to immerse myself in China and be innovative and low maintenace.  However, being steadfast and persevering with little fellowship is quite tough for me.

Praying for God to advance His plans and cause throughout the world.  I could do this but I don't think I am consistent and persistent enough in my intercessions sometimes.

Sending, not my forte as I don't have loads of money.  Money is only one aspect however, sending also involves organizing, administering, coordinating, researching and communicating.   I do feel much joy when I can offer support in sending someone.  However, I feel this may not be more strength.

Welcoming is making new immigrants or visitors welcome in your own country.  I'd be glad to do it, but my gift is not in hospitality.

Mobilizing, note below from article...

Mobilizing: A mobilizer is a normal, everyday Christian who walks with God, yet has a global perspective and stays on the home front to rouse others to action. Anyone who has a vision for the world has at one time been mobilized. Whether someone asked them to go on a short-term trip, invited them to a missions conference, took them to a Bible study on the topic or introduced them to a missionary, somehow they were recruited. And that, in a nutshell, is a mobilizer, a recruiter. Mobilizers are out looking for others to enlist in God's agenda with their entire life. Their focus is Christians who are unaware of God's global plan and they consistently seek to raise the missions awareness in creative ways whether it is in a small group or large group setting. Like Habakkuk, they "Write down the vision and make it plain on tablets so that the one who reads it may run" (Hab. 2:2).

A friend of mine has a saying that I have adopted. "Every Christian a World Christian and every World Christian a mobilizer." Think about the awesome potential in that statement. Every Christian is orchestrating their life around God's heart for the world and fulfilling the Great Commission and at the same time passing on that vision to the new believers and next generation. Unbelievable!

So what exactly are the characteristics of a mobilizer? Bill Stearns and Bob Sjogren lists 10:

1. Needs to be able to be a servant.

2. Desires to see laborers raised up to finish the task of world evangelization.

3. Possibly has the gift of encouragement and exhortation.

4. Is "apt to teach" but may be more effective in recruiting others to teach.

5. Speaks in front of groups without (too much) fear.

6. Leads others well.

7. Has a general heart for the world, possibly focusing in on one people group.

8. Sees the priority of waiting and mobilizing others as well as going.

9. Is part visionary - seeing what can happen as God matches empowered believers with key opportunities of ministry.

10. Is part implementer - driven to see a vision become a reality.

Whether it is just the right missions book or a short video, magazine, agency, prayer profile, etc. you need to be able to show others resources. I can remember when I was in college gathering my own collection of tools. I labeled a manila folder "Mobilization Resources." Now it fills two filing cabinets! Part of being equipped with resources is being a networker. You will need to know what God is doing and who He is doing it with. I challenge anyone trying to cultivate their mobilization skills to help others collect and learn how to use the resources and material available in missions. As they are collecting and learning this material they are building a confidence that will enable them to teach others.

The mobilizer is a key player in the process of raising up laborers. It takes a burning heart for the world and yet a willingness to stay. It has happened to every World Christian and every World Christian can do it!

I think I meet 8 of the 10 characteristics of a mobilizer.  So maybe God would have me focus on being a mobilizer?

What is the Father's role for you in the ministry of reconciling people all over the world back to Him?

The book of Psalms is one of my favourite books of the Bible.  Deep authentic emotions are expressed by the authors.  His Spirit uses it to help me see the truth of my own feelings and thoughts, some which I may have pushed away subconsciously for various reasons.  Through the Psalms, I learn how to trust God and worship Him when going through fear, danger, discouragement, depression, anxiety, loneliness and sin.  Through meditating on the Psalms, I am also reminded of the attributes of God and the goodness He has personally shown to me.  As a result, the Psalms help me to worship, love and trust Abba Father in every situation and phase of my life.

The Spirit filled my soul with much life through an article I just read www.discoverthebook.org/message_detail.asp?fileid=1088.  Take time to read the whole thing (better this way because get the whole unified message in context) and turn to the referenced Psalms and meditate on it while reading the article.  Here is a little interesing exerpt on Psalm 23 applies to work.
There are some given names that stick and stay. Take for instance how many people still Xerox documents although they have never seen a Xerox copier; the same for hand me a Kleenex, even though it is far from being made by Kleenex. But the use of that name has spread to the entire usage of that action. We see something similar when God puts a title on people.  

• When I say the Friend of God many of us may want and hope to be but that is what God calls Abraham.
• Similarly the Apostle John will always be the one that Jesus loved. That is his special title given in God's Word, and what God says sticks.
• Moses was the one that we know got to know God face-to-face and he was also the meekest man on earth. It is hard to shake such a handle when God puts it on you.
• As we come to the end of David's life God identifies him by a special title, he says that David was a man after God's own heart. 

As far as we know David didn't hear that title; that is just how God saw his life long obedience. What do you have in your life that God sees? What life long habits does He admire about you?

David compounded his investment in God. David cultivated a life long desire to seek the Lord in every avenue of life. So should we.  

A great way to start is to do what David did. There are three general areas David sought the Lord while at work, when in danger and fear, and when he was discouraged and depressed. Let's start with seeking God at work since most of us spend a long time each week working.
Seeking God when at work is Psalm 23.

Have you ever thought of where David was when he made on of his greatest discoveries about God? He was young, alone, and at work! What does Samuel tell us was his job? He was a shepherd boy. So he worked outdoors with sheep.

Seeking God all through life would mean that David would have to start on the job looking at what he did through the eyes of God, and seeing God's Hand in all he did. What I just described is maybe the best known of all the Psalms, the 23rd!

As a boy, David decided to seek God while at work each long day and night. From his earliest days on the hillsides as a shepherd, David sought God. He looked at life, even a life as lonely, monotonous, and mundane as watching sheep with such a God heartedness that just his reflections on seeking God as a shepherd are immortal.  

Who could ever look on the lowliest job of the day (being a shepherd) in the same way as before once David showed how he viewed his job? Through Psalm 23 we find that to David the seeker of God, the Lord became his [my] shepherd.  

He looked at himself and saw that he was just like a weak, helpless and often confused lamb. And if he a mere human child could care for sheep and meet all of their earthly needs how much more would the Lord be sure that David shall not want.

From the desolation and barrenness of the arid desert David could believe that he could have so much provision that he could lie down in green pastures. Instead of anxiously eating as if there would never be enough, he could quietly rest satisfied.

Facing the deadly thirst of the wilderness, David saw that seeking God meant that he would always be led by waters that are stilled and drink in peace and safety. As a boy he saw that an anxious sheep was prone to sickness and injury so he always made his sheep feel safe and secure so the Lord as he entrusted his life into His care restored his soul.

When tempted to displease the Lord or dishonor Him David thought about how he led his sheep so he asked the Lord to lead him in paths of righteousness for the sake of God's Name. Even in the narrow canyons where a sheer vertical drop meant certain death for any sheep and so there was no place to go in a predator showed up, the sheep could completely trust the shepherd who was guarding as well as guiding them so that yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for Thou are with me.

Thinking about God at work also made David look down at his tools and see that God's rod and staff could comfort him, just as his tools were used for the protection and correction of his flock.

Even when enemies were prowling all around the shepherd kept them at such a distance by his sling and staff that a weak and timid lamb could be confident enough to put its head down in the grass where it couldn't see what was going on and just trust the shepherd. So David accepted that God prepared a table for David so that even in the most anxious times David could resort to trusting God and eat in the presence of my enemies.

Although his enemies never left him alone for his entire life time, David had his eyes opened do that as he looked back at life he saw in every trouble, every struggle and every pain was covered with God's tracks because surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Most sheep never realize how much the shepherd does for them but David decided he was going to look back and see just how great it was to have God always directing and leading in each situation for the glory and good of God.

And finally just as David for all those years always had a safe and secure place prepared each night for his flock to rest in complete security and comfort. So David as the years passed swiftly by he could also rest assured that at the exactly perfect moment he also would head home and dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

David had a life long pursuit of God and he started by seeing God while he was at work. Have you started looking for the Lord in His Word and carrying Him in your heart and mind all day long?

So in the midst of a hard life, a life of stress, a life of constant demands, a life on the run and a life of endless struggles�  David chose to make regular, long term investments in seeking God.

Let's practice a long obedience in seeking God =)

My parents left HK for Toronto yesterday.  Through the last 3 weeks with my parents, God taught, showed and reminded me of a couple of things:

First, being in HK for a year and visiting China many times, my "pride" and love for Chinese things, language, culture, country, food and people have increasede.  I soooooo wish I knew how to read and write Chinese.  I also wished I was fluent in Mandarin.  I feel like I am liking Chinese stuff more and white or "western" stuff less.  Although, there are many things (non-material) that I have gained from 16 years in Canada that I'd like to keep, there are so many more things that I don't have from Hong Kong/China that I'd like to gain (again non-material stuff).  I think learning the language, history, culture and customs of China may be one of the most important and strategic things to do.  China may be a superpower in the next 30 years.  Right now, I think they have about a fourth of the world's population.  If we want to transform the next generation for Jesus, it is inevitable that we need to communicate well with Chinese people.  

Secondly, during the Yunnan trip, I had a huge burden for people who did not have a chance to hear and embrace the Jesus Christ's story of creation, fall, redemption and restoration.  As I visited the many temples, as I heard the local tour guides talk about the pagan and immoral customs, cutlures and as I heard about the superstitions and false idols, I was sorrowed by their blindness and ignorance of the Truth.  What kept resounding in my mind was, who is going to tell and show these people the Truth?  Who will share with them?  Who will show them?  Who make disciples, that is teaching them everything He has commanded us and living that out together in a community?  "When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field" (Matthew 9:36-38).  Harassed, helpless and sheep without a shepherd.  All I could do was ask the Master of the harvest to send out workers to China.  May the body of Jesus be the shepherd to people to China and cause more sheeps to be shepherds!

Thirdly, I observed that there was much weakness in me.  These weaknesses are not directly sinful, but rather they did hindered me from impacting others and living the life of light, salt and transformation.  I didn't make effort to make good conversation with others during our Yunnan trip.  Didn't even make a big effort to communicate more deeply with family members.   Also, I think there is so much I need to improve in: basic life skills, being wise, street smart, relational intelligence, social intelligence, interpersonal skills, caring for others, concern for others and serving the interests of others.  God reminded me of the lyrics "Lord I come to you let my heart be changed renewed flowing from the grace that I found in you.  Lord I come to know the weaknesses I see in me will be stripped away by the power of Your love.  Hold me close, let your love surround me.  Bring me near, draw me to your side.  As I wait, I'll rise up like the eagle and I will soar with You, Your Spirit leads me on, in the power of Your love".  I think these weaknesses are linked to my next point.

Fourthly, I am more and more convinced that nothing much good dwells in the old self of Casey Lee.  "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? " Rom. 7:14-24.  Isaiah was right on when he said that "all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away" Isa. 64:6.  Even my righteous good deeds are like filthy rags apart from the righteousness of Christ in me.  When I implicitly rely on myself and trust myself (this happens when my heart and spirit is not inclined to constantly connect with His power and life through everyone of the disciplines of prayer, study of His Word, worship and fellowhip) I am selfish, self-centered and prideful.  This results in me satisfying the sinful desires of the flesh.  The selfish gain of self-comfort, self-affirmation, material possessions and lustful pleasures become my motivation force.  The destructive influence of my sinful nature is amplified when I forfeit the holy pleasure of Jesus Christ.  Lately, my relationship with God hasn't been the closest nor the most disciplined.  I have not disciplined myself to spend quality time with my Father and Lover.  Not unlike an earthly father and lover relationship, affects the relationship's quality and intimacy.  We were made to worship, connect and delight ourselves in something, if not in Christ, than it has to be in something else, and that is simply idolatry.

Left to my flesh, I found it quite hard to receive my parent's corrections and criticism because of pride.  Sometimes, I believe they were right rebukes, while at other times, I believe they were undeserved.  My dad has preferences of doing things, some of his preferences conflict with mine.  However, sometimes, my dad makes his preference black and white, an absolute, a must, that is, if I don't do things his way, then I am absolutely wrong.  I think, nothing can be more dangerous than to make non-certain things certain, amoral things moral.  When I realize that my dad was getting mad as if I was sinning while it was merely the fact that I was subjectively doing things wrong according to his biased point of view, I resisted.  However, the God's Word tells me to submit to others and honour my parents as long as it doesn't conflict directly with His Word.  But I failed to do it because of pride.  In fact, I hardened, fought back and defended myself.  Also, I found myself being more and more judgemental and critical of others.  Judging is good only if I do it out of love and wisdom for the good of others.  It is not good when I just grumble, complain and be critical to others in my heart while doing nothing to help.  I also noticed that I had little love and concern for others while caring mostly about my interests.  Dominated by sin, I was unable to have have a graceful disposition, thanksgiving spirit, radiating joy, pure mind, loving action, peaceful soul and humble heart.

I have been deceived again by the devil in believing that there is true pleasure, delight, satisfaction, joy, love, peace and life outside of Jesus.  Thus, I have committed idolatry, having something and someone in the place that only Jesus Christ ought to be in.  I have worshipped, embraced and adored the the created rather than the Creator.  How vast is His mercy and grace, only the substitionary death of the sinless perfect Holy God can turn away the extremly deserved wrath of God.  Truly His kindness leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).  I'm forgiven because He was forsaken, I'm accepted because He was condemned, all the wrath I deserved has been placed on Jesus Christ on the cross.  He has bestowed on us a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  By Himself, He has made us oaks of righteousness, a display to everyone for His glory.  That is the gospel, that is good news!  This is available for all, how we ought to be more passionate and unrestraining in sharing this good news from Jesus. 

Not long ago, I heard Ravi's message on Naaman, the commander of a pagan country who was an enemy of Israel at that time.  He had leprosy and his servant told him of God's prophet Elisha.  Elisha sent a messenger to tell Naaman to wash himself in the river seven times.  At first Naaman was prideful and wanted to do things his way.  He wanted Elisha to cure his leprosy by personally waving his hands over it.  However, Naaman finally decided to submit to God's way of doing things.  He left a healed man.  What I didn't notice in this historical narrative was what followed.  Naaman offered to give a gift to Elisha, but Elisha swored that as long as the LORD lives he would not receive a gift.  As Naaman left, Gehazi, Elisha's servant (he witnessed many of Elisha's miracles, in fact he was part of more miracles than Elisha) chased Naaman and asked for a gift.  As a result, Elisha said that God would lay the same leprosy that Naaman had on Gehazi.  Here is the contrast that Ravi noted, you have a commander of a evil pagan country who finds the grace of God by humbly submitting to His ways, and you have a servant of God who has witnessed and even performed the works of God and yet goes his own way.  There are many times that I find myself like Gehazi, going my own way even though I have witnessed so much of God's work.  However, I believe that the healing (mainly spiritual) Naaman received is available if we humble ourselves and submit to God's ways.  

As Roy Hessien from The Calvary Road wrote, the bent I is C.  The bent I is Christ.  Once I am broken, bowed in surrender, embracing that Jesus is my everything, I gain Him.  Either I keep me and lose Christ, I lose me and I keep Christ.  Truly it is better to be one day in His house, that is, His presence, than a thousand billion years elsewhere.  He is sweeter than a field of flowers.  Yes, taste and see that He alone is good.

I am certain that all the good things and promises of Father God can only be received and actualized by a continual submission to His ways and His control, not just merely by becoming a Christian (a follower of Jesus, or the Way, not merely a one time decision to "accept" Jesus).  That is why there are people who have been in church for ages and have "received" Jesus as the One who rescues them from their sin, yet they are not living the Spirit filled abundant life God has promised.  We have ceased to proactively make Jesus the center of our lives and submit to His rule and in every area.  Recently, I forfeited the joy, peace, life, love and freedom that King Jesus has promised us.  "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery" Gal 5:1.  If we are not careful, we can slip back to slavery again.  The only way back to freedom is when we surrender fully to the control of our Lord (word actually means master) again.  "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" 2 Cor. 3:17.  Wherever we let God Lord or master our life is wherever we will experience freedom.  When we dethrone ourselves and let Him be our master again, then we experience freedom.  Any area in my heart that I have kept to myself and not let him reign and control is under slavery.  By His grace, He has brought me back to the heart of worship, where He is the focus, where I am a man after not my own heart or someone else's heart, but His heart.  May we only persevere in doing that every day, every hour and every second of our life.

I've been quite busy for the past many weeks, thus my lack of "real" blogging (hehe bloggin that is not just referring to articles or sermons).  Note the following is for my record keeping of what I did so it may not be enjoyable to read.

My parents are in town for 3 weeks.  Partly to vacation, but mainly to attend my cousin's wedding.

My parents and I went one of those 8 day Chinese tours to Yunnan province of China.  Yunnan is located, I believe, east of Burma, southeast of Si Chuan and south of Tibet.  The place is supposed to be very beautiful.  I had high expectations because I saw some beautiful sceneries of Yunnan on TV (China has so many beautiful places, the country is very big, stretching east to west and north to south, thus making many different geographic variations, e.g. mountains with clouds hanging in the middle, rivers, underground caves, flat fields of plateaus, forests, deserts, snow mountains, I love China!).  I was a bit disappointed though.  Maybe because in those tours, they only take people to places that are more "tame".  The real beautiful and magnificant places probably take days to get there so it wouldn't be ideal to go there for the average "Lee" or average Joe harhar.

We went to four major cities: Kunming, Da Li, Li Jiang and Shangri La.

In Kunming, we went to this underground cave that had these pointed stuff sticking down from the ceiling (stalagmites?).  I think they said it was one of the biggest underground caves in the world.  You can pretty much play soccer and football in there if you wanted to.  There were streams of river inside and outside of the huge cave gushing through.  
We watched a show about the different cultures and tribes in China.  The show was absolutely stunning.  There were scenes with over 40 people doing coordinated movements and dances and singing and shouting.  They had this Chinese drum scene that was amazing.  Then there was this student of Yang Li Ping (very famous dancer in China) who did this peacock dance.  The way she moved her body was absolutely beautiful, with the symmetry and fluid graceful movements.  I have to say this is the best show I've seen in my life.  It is broadway quality.  The show actually won gold medal in some competition.

In Da Li, which is an older smaller city, we visited some beautifully refurbished Chinese temples.  We visited some beautiful parks.  We also went on a boat tour to an island.  Behind our hotel there are mountains with clouds hanging near the top.  It is quite marvelous. 

In Li Jiang, we took a cable car to see the snow mountain but it was too foggy so we couldn't see much.  It was actually snowing up there.  Againg, we watched a show about the different small tribes in China (there are so many different tribes of different cultures in China, very unique stuff).  It was quite a good show I must say.  Great costumes, choreographing and dancing.  Not as good as the one in Kunming though.  There is this tribe that writes with pictures.  Not many people remain from this tribe.

In Shangri La, we got to see the this rushing river in between two huge cliffs.  My mom said it looked similar to the Grand Canyon.  We also got to ride on horses in a large grass field with mountains and clouds all around us.  At night, we observed a local dance along with lamb and local wine drink.

We rode on the bus from one city to another.  The road we traveled on were roads that were cleared paths on the mountain.  The scenery was magnificent.  We saw staircase farm plots, green tree filled mountains all on sides with white snow on the top of some mountains, high rocky hills, streams of water flowing from the mountain. 

So much is fake in China.  If you've been on one of those tours, they always bring you to places to buy stuff.  Like this time they took us to buy tea (Pu Erh), silk, jade, "heavenly stone" (supposingly stone from meteroites), flowers and the famous Yunnan ham.  Even the scenery is fake sometimes as some are the result of human hands rather than of nature and God. 

Overall the trip was fun and enjoyable.  I learned more about China's geography and culture.  I also go to enjoy beautiful scenery along with the best show I've ever seen.

Gotta go eat lunch with grandma, to be contined...

A reminder of the power of imagination...

http://blog.christianitytoday.com/outofur/archives/2006/10/baptizing_the_i.html

“When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at naught, and you sting and hurt with the insult of the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ — that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence — that is dying to self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, or any annoyance, when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility, and endure it as Jesus endured it — that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any attitude, any interruption by the will of God — that is dying to self. When you never care to refuse yourself in conversation, or record your own good works, or itch after any commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown — that is dying to self.

When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances — that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart — that is dying to self.” — Author Unknown (Taken from Different By Design by John MacArthur).

Oh, that each of us could be one who dies to themselves — oh, that I could be one that is dying to self!

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

Today I read John 11 (ESV version).  Lazarus had just died and Mary (the women who annointed Jesus with ointment and wiped his feet with her hair) sent someone to tell Jesus that "the one He love is ill".  Jesus purposely stays in another town for 2 more days.  Lazarus dies.  Jesus begans walks towards the town that Lazarus died in.  As He comes near the town Lazarus had already died for 4 days, Mary and Martha were mourning along with other mourners.  When Martha heard Jesus was coming, she went out to meet Him, but Mary remained seated in the house.  Martha tells Jesus that if He was there her brother wouldn't have to die.   Later, Mary approaches Jesus and says the same thing.  Jesus saw Mary and the others weeping.  He is deeply moved and He weeps.  At the end, Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead.

Ok, now here are some interesting things that (I perceive) the Spirit of God pointed out to me.  We call on Jesus many times in our lives.  We cry out to Him to heal our sick friends/relatives, we ask Him to bring to repentance friends/family who are sinning, we ask Him to save the lost people we love and cherish, we cry out to Him in our distress.  Like Mary and Martha, we send word to God that we need Him to come and help us.  We may even have the same faith in Jesus that they had, note their confidence in Jesus "Lord, if you had been here, my brother wold not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you (v.21-22)...I know he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day (v.24)...Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God (v.27)".  But sometimes, it seems like God doesn't show up.  It seems like He is ignoring us.  Or even worse, He seems to hear our prayers and yet does not answer.  This is the predicament that Mary and Martha found themselves in.  Someone they dearly cherished, their brother Lazarus, was ill and it may have appeared that Jesus ignored their cry for help.  Are you seeking God and feel like He is ignoring your heart's cry?

The first words of Martha and Mary to Jesus were "Lord, if you had...(v.21, 32)".  Do we not have our "Lord, if you had..." moments?  Lord if you had listened when I asked for you to bring my sister/brother/friend back to You...Lord if you had answered when I prayed for my sick loved one...Lord if you had heard when I was feeling depressed and lonely...Lord if you had helped me get a better job...Lord if you had only given me a boyfriend/girlfriend...Lord if you had...

Maybe God delays because He wants to deepen our faith and trust in Him.  "Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe (v14-15)."  Did you see that?  It is for our sake that God delays sometimes.  Or it may be for another person's sake.  But at the end, God delays so that we may believe and put our trust in Him in a deeper way.

Sometimes God delays because it will bring Himself glory.  "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it (v.4)."

In our sorrow and pain, Jesus cries and mourns with us.  The shortest verse of the Bible is found in this story: Jesus wept (v.35), the King and Almighty Ruler of the universe shedding His tears.  Jesus totally empathizes with us.  That is, He identifies with and understands our situation, feelings, and motives.  Twice, John tells us that Jesus was deeply moved when He saw them weeping.  Jesus sees.  Jesus is an emotional God.  He feels the pain you feel.  Jesus was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled (v.33) and Jesus was deeply moved again (v.38).  Why did Jesus weep and became deeply troubled knowing that Lazarus would come back to life?  I think that though the future was bright for Lazarus, Mary and Martha, He still identified with them at that moment.  Brother and sister, our future is bright and secure in King Jesus.  However, we can be assurred that Jesus is weeping with us and deeply troubled with us, over our present trials, pains and sufferings.

We can choose to have two different attitudes when we don't see our prayers answered...
Will we be like the people who said "Could not He who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying? (v.37)"  We can become bitter and start thinking to ourself, could not He who healed the lame heal my parents? or could not He who brought Saul to surrender to Jesus bring my love one to surrender to Jesus? or could not He who helped Job to not look lustfully upon another women help me to be pure in heart & conduct? or could not He who caused the disciples in the New Testament to live radically and sacrifically for Him make me and my church live for Jesus and not for self?  Could not He...
Or will we be like the witnesses who said "See how he loved him! (v.36)" and believe that Jesus loves us even when we are hurting and our prayer is not answered? 

I am struggling with a few unanswered prayers.  I've been praying for years for my parents.  For them to grow in Jesus.  For them to find other brothers and sisters, as well as each other, to connect with, pray with, study the Word with, serve with and grow in Jesus with.  I've been praying for years for my relatives to know the reality of a holy gracious God who died for them even while they were sinners.  I've been praying that they would surrender and live for the glory of our amazing perfect Father in heaven.  I've been praying for years for God to replace my father's depression with joy.  I've been praying for years for God to cause repentance of a "loved one's" sin of emotional adultery.  Recently, my uncle has been diagnosed with some cancer in the thyroid.  He will face radiation and chemotherapy treatment.  It will be painful.  I've been praying for his healing physically as well as spiritually.  My dad has something in his throat as well (it could be a tumour or cancerous), I've been praying for that.  After a while, when many prayers seemingly go unanswered, it can be disheartening.  But God has comforted me with John 11.  He is using these two strengthen my faith in Him and to bring Him glory.  It is all for the good because all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  

Jesus is all I need.  I am reminded of the lyrics of this song which can be listened to at www.722.org/video under message "Heavy Part 1 - Living Under Weight" 150K Windows Media time 26:40

We have all we need in You
And all we need is You
All we need is You

Rich or poor God I want You more
Than anything that glitters in this world
Be my all,  all consuming fire

You can have all my hands can hold
My heart,  mind,  strength and soul
Be my all,  all consuming fire

All we need, all we need, all we need is You
All we need, all we need, all we need is You

We know how the story ends.  Lazarus is raised from the dead.  Jesus comes through.  Maybe you are in the "Lazarus is dead" period.  We all are in some aspect.  Not all our pleas to God are answered immediately.  The question is: will we believe Him to use unanswered prayer to strengthen our faith and bring glory to Him?  Our faith & trust in Him will not only bring Him glory but it will also allow us to see His glory.  

"Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?" (v.40). 

I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.  I will be glad and exult in You.  Psalm 9:1-2a

Sometimes, I feel like I can't do anything significant and fruitful for God.  I doubt the abilities, talents and gifts God has given me.  I fix my eyes on the insufficiency of myself rather than on the all sufficiency of God.   My weaknesses and inadequacies make me think that I can't do much to impact people for the glory of Christ.  Then I would feel all gloomy, useless, defeated and discouraged.

I had one of the above moments recently.  I felt like I was being a pond rather than a river.  I was intaking lessons & experiences from God while barely releasing and passing it on to others.  I felt like I was being unproductive for the Kingdom of God.  The last thing I want when I leave HK later is to look back and find that I did little for the glory of God in HK.  I began to comparison with other children of God.  I saw that they were doing much for God, serving Him faithfully, leading with influence, speaking with encouragement, praying with faith and connecting with great social skills/charisma.  Instead of praising God, I compared myself with them.  As I compared, I saw my shortcomings and I thought I could never be as good as them.  This destructive comparison thinking brought despair. 

However, yesterday, I cried out to God to use me, to make me useful for His purposes.  I remember feeling very weak, very useless.  But with the little energy and strenght I had, I cried to Jesus and threw myself on Him.  I repented of my laziness and self-centeredness.  Our gracious King and Daddy answered my prayer...

My church (ECC) had a beach party at Shek O beach.  The whole point of the beach party was to get to know other people in the church who we never met before.  We were all given a piece of paper with questions on it to get to know each other.  I met a guy and a girl from South Africa.  I encouraged them to join a Care group (small group).  I met another girl who was a seeker who had gone to Catholic and Christian schools.  I had a chance to share my testimony with her.  I explained a few things to her.  She asked me why Jesus needed to die on the cross for God to forgive us (what I juicy question!).  I explained to her using analogies and various things the concept of Jesus stepping in our place of punishment to satisfy the righteous wrath of a Holy God.   She says its so unfair and unjust of Jesus to die.  I told her it would be even more unfair and unjust for us to reject this great act of love from God Himself.  Afterwards, she told me that it made much more sense to her now.  God answered my prayers!  He used me, an ordinary servant, to clarify His extraordinary message.  What a privilege!

After the beach party, I chilled with a dude and two girls at Starbucks.  I met the dude at the beach party and the two girls I knew previously but not well.  One of the girls shared that she broke up with her bf because he was not a Christian and he drew her away from God.  She gave up grad school in Canada plus all her friends and family to stay here in HK because she felt that was what God wanted her to do.  I can see her hunger for God and her desire to live for Him, what encouragement!

The other girl shared that after hearing pastor preach on sexual purity in Proverbs, God showed her that she was having a sinful relationship with her bf.  She has been living with him for 5 years and were planning to get married.  They were planning for the future, looking for houses to buy, schools for their kids to attend.  She told her bf that she will not have sex again with him before they get married.  Her bf thought she went crazy and so he ended it.  Actually her bf began to see that she went "crazy" a couple of months before.  She had spiritual attacks from the devil because she previously flirted around with fortune telling stuff (most demonic attacks occur when people open themselves up to Satan through new age stuff, occults, fortune tellings, zodiacs, etc.).  She said that she saw some shadows with red eyes beside her every time she slept.  She would also have these "sixth" senses of evil around her.  She would live with a lot of fear.  One time, she was so scared that she went to her friend's (who is a Christian) house.  She felt her spirit leaving her body.  She honestly thought she was about to die.  She cried out to God to save her.  Her friend prayed ferverently.  She began to shake and tremble and her eyes rolled back.  But God saved her and delivered her.  That was when she began to giver her life to Jesus and start a relationship with Him.  She went to church all her life but she never gave her life to Jesus.  Anyways, we had a great talk that night.  She shared from deep within her heart.  We offered our listening ears, encouraged her and gave her some advise from the Word.  I even got to share a Bible passage I had read during my QT that morning (perfect timing!).  Afterwards, we prayed for each other.  We truly had fellowship that night.  Our conversation was deep, vulnerable and God glorifying.

The girl shared something very encouraging with me that night in Starbucks.  After the sexual purity message that God used to convict her to stop having sex with her boyfriend resulting in their breakup, we had our church's dragonboat practice.  After practice, she shared with some of the dragonboat people of her breakup with her bf.  I remembered thinking in my mind and heart that she was doing a very noble, honourable and courageous thing.  People were just nodding their heads, but not really acknowledging the magnitude of her decision.  I wondered how many people supported this girl in her action.  Maybe she would doubt later and think she made the wrong choice.  I thought, this type of "sacrifice" must be supported and encouraged so I told her, "I support you 100% in your decision sister.  I think you made the right choice.  God thinks you made the right choice.  I got your back and I totally support you in your decision."  I thought it was nothing big.  But that night at Starbucks, literally with red wet eyes (I know people say this often for effects, but I truly saw her eyes were wet), the girl told me that what I said really encouraged her.  To her, it seemed that many people didn't understand nor did they offer their support.  What I said gave her great encouragement and support.  She said it meant a lot to her.  I told her that I was encouraged that she was encouraged haha.  There is joy in bringing a timely word!

Truly, our words can either build up or destroy, encourage or discouraged, increase faith in God or increase faith in the world.  May God use you to bring words of life to someone else.  A few God inspired words can make a big big difference!

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Prov 16:24

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.
Prov 12:25

A word aptly (def'n according to dictionary.com: suited to the purpose or occasion; appropriate) spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Prov. 25:11

A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!
Prov. 15:23

The other day, I was discussing with my colleague the good ol video game days of my youth hehe.  We talked about video games like Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Mario, Donkey Kong, Golden Eye. 

I use to be a video game freak.  I spent a lot of times playing video games.  My friends and I would gather at someone's house after school and play multiplayer games.  Multiplayer games are so fun!  I think it takes the funness of video games to another level.  Our top 3 multiplayer games were Mario Kart, Madden football and Fatty Eye (aka Golden Eye 007) hehe. 

I reflected on why video games were so attractive to me.  One of the reasons was it gave me a sense of control.  I can make my character do whatever I want.  I say (or press hehe) jump and he jumps.  I think this somewhat satisfies my fleshly sinful nature's desire to be in control all the time.  But conversely, this desire to be in control can come from the Spirit who wants me to have self-control so that I can do what pleases Him.  So the control one gains from the video games can be a yearning of the flesh or the Spirit or maybe just some random thing that has nothing to do with either haha.

Another thing that is attractive about video games is that I can be a hero or the main character.  Who doesn't want to be a hero or be like 007 & get the chicks haha...hmm...chicken...?  Similarly to the above, I think being a hero can serve my fleshly self-centered motives or it can be submitted to the Spirit so that I live the life of a hero for the glory of Christ.

Accompanying heroness are usually supernatural natural powers to fight the bad guys, yesth throw fire balls at Bowsers face!  We are not fighting merely a physical battle in this world.  No rather, we are fighting against spiritual forces, and all sorts of evil beings in the heavenly realms.  But we got supernatural power, baby!  We have the Sword of the Spirit, the truth of God's Word to attack Satan and his schemes.  We have faith, to shield and block the fiery darts of lies that Satan bombards us with.  We have communication with King Jesus to destroy the enemy's stronghold and set captives free.  Bring it on!

Video games also allows me to escape from this world to another world.  It could either be a form of escapism, to run away from the troubles, worries, pains of life.  Or it could be a yearning for what God has prepared for us, another world, a perfect world, a world where the lion or Lion lies with the sheep, a world where there is no sin, a world where the goodness of God is fully realised & experienced!

Last but not least, video games satisfy a desire in me to explore and discover new things.  With Mario or Donkey Kong for example, we get to see different sceneries and characters as we progress through the game.  There are new people to meet and new places to see.  There are unexpected things and situations we encounter.   At times, video games can produce in me a sense of wonder and awe.  It resembles a bit of the child like wonder God wants us to have in encounter the world He has created.  Just like seeing a vast oceans and enormous mountains make us feel so small.  When we have wonder and awe, we are reminded that we are not God, but rather God is God. 

(I think movies are so attractive because it does the above two as well.)

That is one reason why I think Jesus had such a big heart for children.  Children know how to be in awe of things.  Last week, I saw a little kid with a ball.  His mom was listening to some talk while the kid was playing with the ball.  He asked me to play with him.  I rolled the ball to him and he rolled it to me.  He had so much fun and delight in simply playing with the ball.  Delighting in the littlest of things.  That is what God wants I believe.  His will is that we give thanks and rejoice always.  A way that helps us to do is when the smallest thing can bring us awe, wonder and delight.  May God grant that spirit in us.  Maybe we need to realize how small, how weak, how imperfect, how insignificant we really are, in order for us to see our need for the big perfect God.

"We don't just teach about prayer. We pray. And that's how we encourage the children to take the next step in their walk with the Lord,"  This is from a very good article on children's praying meetings at Brooklyn Tabernacle http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/2002/002/4.14.html

Watch these charasmaic kids pray http://www.jesuscampthemovie.com/ watch their video trailer.  One thing "evangelicals" should learn from "charasmatics" is their passion and faith in praying.

http://livedigital.com/content/52110 clip of children praying.  They cry out and stuff.

One of the courses I took at U of T was Positive Psychology.  It was one of the best classes I took at Uni.  The stuff we read and discussed touched something deep within me.  Themes like hope, laughter, contentment, resilience (persevering in the midst of hardship and difficulties),  all struck something deep within me.  Maybe because something leaps in me when I see hope in the midst of despair, light in darkness or just merely appreciating goodness, well-being and positiveess.

Anyways here are some interesting articles on laughter and humour.  I wrote my reserach paper for that class about laughter and humour.  Maybe I'll post it when I get back to TO.

http://www.family.org/married/romance/a0022342.cfm
http://www.family.org/married/growth/a0022221.cfm

Life need not be easy to be joyful. Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the Presence of Christ. —WILLIAM VANDER HOVEN

Thank you to Jesus for some good times with Mike when he was in HK.

We really had some great times of talking, chatting, going to Chinese church together, serving and praying together.

One night, Mike treated me to buffet (hallelu-jah!) dinner at a hotel.  We talked about everything on our hearts, mainly music, Jesus, books, ideas, churches, how churches should be runned, gifts, weaknesses.   Actually, Mike is one of the few (also Yoon & accountability boyz) I can be completely open and share deeper things with.  I think we both have the same desire deep within our hearts: Jesus Christ.

As we were talking about our gifts, talents and weaknesses, I learned something about leadership.  I thought I didn't have the gift of leadership (and I still feel like I don't hehe).  Mike told me that if I can influence a guy with leadership ability, this guy can in turn influence many others.  I never thought of it that way.  Sometimes, just influencing one person can make a big difference.  So let us not grow discouraged sometimes when we are not "saving the world" or impacting many people.  Just see how God is using you to influence one person.  Let inquire the Spirit to see who He has put in our life that we can influence.  Each life is precious.  As we influence that one life, we may find that they may not influence many others, but us in return.

Thanks MIke for the meal at the hotel.  Thanks for helping with Global Day of Prayer, with the coordination of the opening and the crazy 200 youth dancers and 200 flag ppl.  Also, thanks for helping me run around and being my extra arms.  Thank you for your servants heart bro.  Brian was right in reminding me to meet with you often when you were in HK.  You are a great encouragement, example and friend.  Yes I will come back soon hehe, munnnn deee la!